THE OPEN DOOR

The support group I belong to Swan UK have been posting quotes and sayings that people like to use to get them through the bad times.  This reminds me of my Mum, her favourite saying was 

‘As one door shuts another one opens’.  

She had a saying for every occasion but this one was definitely used more than the rest.  Every time something bad happened to me she would quote it and I used to screw my face up in typical teenage fashion and carry on grumbling.

When I became a parent myself I suddenly found that I was using this very saying to my own children.  They probably gave me the same reaction that I gave my Mum! 

As I have grown older I have realised that this saying, corny as it sounds, does carry a lot of weight.  Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the negative that we fail to see the positive.

When Jess had her M.R.I. scan for example, we were told that she may never sit unaided, walk, hold an adult conversation etc. etc. it was completely devastating.  By then it was obvious that there was something ‘not quite right’ but we were not prepared for this.  All the quotes and feel good sayings in the world could not have made us feel any better at that particular time. What a long way Jess has come since then though. She did learn to sit up, she learnt to crawl, she learnt to pull herself up onto the furniture and then cruise around it and now she is able to walk short distances just holding onto your hand.

Lots of doors have been opened up to us.  For my part I have been able to give up work to help care for Jess which has been such a rewarding experience in itself and it means I get to spend time with both my Granddaughters on a regular basis. As a family we have learnt new skills such as how to feed Jess through a NG tube and now how to pump feed her through her gastrostomy button.  We have helped her with her physio.  We are learning Makaton sign language.   Because of Jess I now work as a volunteer at her S.E.N. Nursery and I am learning new skills all the time helping other children with various disabilities. The very fact that you are reading this blog has only been made possible due to Jess’s undiagnosis. I would never have thought of doing anything like this before.   None of these opportunities would have been open to me if it wasn’t for Jess being born with different needs.

So please when you see Jess and children like her don’t see only what they cannot do.  I know you probably mean well when you express sadness but these children are not closed doors. 

Jess and her friends at nursery have taught me that all things are possible and no door is closed for long. Not to dwell on what cannot be done but how to appreciate everything that is done. Celebrate each achievement not for it’s scale but just for the very fact that it is an achievement and therefore something positive. 

In this modern day society we tend to judge people by how big their achievements are.  We strive to be bigger and better and life becomes an ongoing competition.  We are sometimes so busy worrying about what we can’t have or haven’t got that we forget how much we have already.  

Difficulties are opportunities for better things

they are stepping stones for greater experience

Perhaps some day you will be thankful

for some temporary failure in a particular direction.

When one door closes

another always opens

as a natural law it has to be, to balance.

(Brian Adams from "how to succeed")