Last week I was given two opinions by professional people on
how to proceed further with my recovering broken wrist. It had been 5 weeks
since my accident and I was feeling fine. Last consultation the week before was
good, apparently I was doing very well and could start using my hand again for
everyday things slowly at first but gradually building up. So I was very optimistic.
I asked of the first person if I could learn any specific
exercises that would help strengthen my wrist in preparation for being able to
pick up Jess again and I also asked about driving as the monthly bus pass I had
purchased had only a few days left to run.
I explained what lifting was required.
Unfortunately the advice given was not the optimistic approach I was
hoping for.
They were not sure if I should drive due to pulling up the
handbrake, perhaps I should leave it a while longer. They did not really want
me to think about lifting or even work up to it for another two weeks although
they actually preferred three! I was
still supposed to be having plenty of rest during the day in their opinion. I
came out feeling very depressed. I had
been doing my physio daily even during the very painful first few weeks and I
thought it was paying off. I have
always been in tune with my body, I know that if I try something and it does
not feel right it is best to do less for a while, but I really was feeling much
stronger. I started to think it had all
been a waste of time but a cup of coffee and a custard tart got me back on
track.
By the time I got to the second professional I had already
decided what I was going to do as my initial disappointment had now turned to
down-right pigheadedness! But I would put the same questions anyway.
This person said I was doing really well. I decided to mention about driving and was
honest and asked if there would be a problem with the handbrake.
‘Squeeze my hand
with your left one as hard as you can’ they said. I did. Once I had
released it was declared that my grip was strong so I should have no problem
with the hand brake and they could not see any reason not to drive as I had the
full range of required movements. ONE BOX TICKED!!
Now onto the question of lifting. Again I explained about Jess and how and when I had to lift her
and also gave the opinion of the other person.
‘Don’t try lifting her straight away or anything’ they said ‘or you may
experience soft tissue damage’ (first person had mentioned this),
‘ But you can start building up gradually over the next couple
of weeks and
your body will tell
you how far to go, you will soon know if you are not ready for certain things
yet’.
How? I asked
‘It will hurt’ was the reply. ENOUGH SAID.
I came out with a smile.
Upon reflection both had given me the same sort of advice,
i.e. not to rush into things and build up slowly (which I fully intend to do),
but the second piece of advice was given in a ‘no nonsense/no frills’ way which
is the way I like to deal with things. It
gave me light at the end of the tunnel rather than leaving me thinking this was
never going to end and my life would be forever changed.
I suppose I have always had this stubborn streak, once I
have made up my mind about something you will find it very hard to persuade me
otherwise. I have never been one to
dwell on things for long, perhaps if I had a motto it would be ‘just deal with
it’.
My Mother was just the same. She was proud of her stubbornness and would often boast about
it.
‘The Grimshaws have always been renowned for their stubborn
streak’ she used to say, proud of her Lancashire roots.
She was also a very strong lady that did not believe in
self-pity or dwelling on bad times. She
had a difficult childhood (she would tell me stories when I was young), her
Father died when she was 3years old and her Mother was left with four children
to bring up on her own. No social services to fall back on then, so they did
not have a lot of money. Her Mother
took on two jobs to make ends meet, leaving the eldest Sister in charge of the
younger ones. My Mum said that her Mum
would often go without food herself so there would be enough for her
children. She did re-marry years later
to the man who I knew as Granddad and things got a little better as he was a
miner and was able to bring in a wage, but unfortunately by then the damage
caused by overworking and under-eating had been done and my Grandmother died
when my Mum was barely out of her teens.
The war years followed which brought hardship of a different kind. My parents loved each other very much and
were not afraid to show it, so when my Dad passed away it was very difficult
for my Mum.
Despite all of this she never seemed to complain about
life. She knew exactly what she wanted,
was not afraid to go for it and was never afraid to speak her mind.
On my way back I began to think about my Mum and realised
that the Grimshaw stubbornness has been handed down. Not just to me but to my Daughters too. My Mum passed away some years ago and although she never got to
see her second Great-Grandchild, she did get to see her first when she was a
baby. I sometimes tell Natalie about
her Great Nanny Irene and she has seen photos of her.
Having a child with a disability is never easy. Having a child with an undiagnosed
disability also brings a new set of problems to overcome as there is nothing to
compare with, no guidelines. There is
no blueprint for the future; every day has to be taken as it comes.
I have never heard Emma complaining about how things are
with regards to Jess or feeling sorry for herself. I am sure there are days when she feels like it and who could
blame her? On the other hand I have
been there when she has stood her ground with the medical profession,
especially in the early days when these people refused to take her seriously. I have stood by proudly knowing that if the
chips are down she is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the welfare
of her family.
In my mind on such occasions I can see my Mum with a knowing
smile, the stubbornness of the Grimshaws strikes again!
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| TEARS OF HAPPINESS WHEN MEETING HER GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST TIME |
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| A FEW MONTHS LATER SHARING A PRIVATE JOKE TOGETHER! |
Stubbornness is a trait to be proud of - we have it in our family too - and it makes it easier to get through!
ReplyDeleteLove the pics :)